I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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