i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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