I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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