Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize