You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
