You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
