I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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