Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
