I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
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So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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