saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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