grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
