can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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