Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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