i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
