zippers are such a cool invention
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am available for nakedness
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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