$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
