My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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