): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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