i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
