Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
