I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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