This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it because I queefed?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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