i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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