Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
