Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
