dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
