i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
