i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
