I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you never un-have a 4some
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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