Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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