I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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