I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
