I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he fucked my hip out of place.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
