btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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