Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
