Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Pants are for mortals
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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