It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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