after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
