it was like eating out sand paper
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
