My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry about my life...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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