she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
