how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
