so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
