Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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