he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
