that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
