Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
