so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I want to be your penis for a week.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
