if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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