Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
