My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
