there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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