someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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