So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
