billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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