guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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