o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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