If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
