What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize