worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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