No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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