i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
