This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
