a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
