lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
