We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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